Audi man in Euro freebie record

A medical editor has smashed the British, Commonwealth and European record for collecting freebies from an international expo centre. Moving with speed and guile across all 72 exhibition stands at the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre (SECC), Nigel Graber collected over 150 items of pointless tat, all advertising miracle HIV drugs. His record haul included four clocks, a rucksack, 38 pens, 11 golf balls, a calendar, a CD wallet, a twig-shaped pencil, a clockwork boxing fish, half a plastic mouse, 12 musical condoms and a car headrest carved roughly in the shape of Brian Blessed's mother. A spokeman for SECC said, "This was a magnificent performance, and we're particularly proud that Nigel achieved it on Scottish soil. I have never seen a man hell-bent on collecting utter shite move at such speed."

Addendum to yesterday's post: I had printed off the Sitemeter map and was reading it sideways. To my knowledge, I have no fans in Greenland.
- posted by Nigel @ Tuesday, November 19, 2002